Lessons in Blaming

To All the people I have blamed (including myself):

            I’m sorry to all the people I have blamed. I now realize the negative energy I was putting into the situation. I didn’t know by blaming I was contributing to the problem and ignoring the opportunity to see solutions. I wanted to divert the attention away from asking myself, “What can I do to change this situation?” Life is offers enough challenges and I realize that my being critical of those around me shows me how critical I’m being with myself.

            I have been using blame as a tool to ignore my self-care for too long. I now understand the saying “Wherever we point our finger, we have three fingers pointing back.” I get it now! I didn’t realize before that I was using blame as a defense mechanism from looking at myself in a loving way. When I’m blaming myself or others, I’m contributing to an energy I no longer want in my life. My job is to be kind to myself, only then will I be able to stop blaming. I need to show myself compassion while taking personal responsibility for my part in any chaos in my life. I invite in chaos when I start pointing fingers at anyone including myself. This way of living has not ever worked for me, but I watch myself continue to make the same choices. I didn’t realize that my own thinking has been keeping me hostage to a life I don’t even want.

            If I blame you for not doing something for me, really it means I’m not doing enough to take care of my own needs. I blame a stranger for their mistakes, it’s because I’m not seeing the value of learning from my own. When I choose to blame a culture, society, race, gender, or someone’s sexual preference. I’m using the blame as a diversion of responsibility. I use it as an excuse not to look at my own choices and actions to see how I have contributed to any negative energy going on around me.

            Today, I will commit to taking personal responsibility for my part with out pointing fingers elsewhere. I will commit to making a positive change in my life and to be compassionate and forgiving when I fall back into old behaviors. I know I need to be gentle with myself if I ever expect to be able to be gentle with you when I don’t agree with your actions. I will use my experiences as lessons to become the loving person I already know I am underneath all these walls and layers of defense mechanisms.

            I will not beat myself up when I make mistakes! I’m not superhuman and I need to use my mistakes to learn and grow. I’m grateful for all the opportunities I get to practice my new way of living. I may not get it right all the time, but if I stay committed I will be better and better and I will be a better person for you and me.

With lots of love and hope,

A Better Me © 2017