It's Time for a Change: Moving to From A Loving Place

Dear Readers, 

 I've decided to condense my writings into one convenient place on Http://FromALovingPlace.com. There will be a Letters from A Better Me category, so if you love the letters format you can go directly to it and find what you are looking for. I will never stop writing letters so you won't be missing out by choosing to follow me on From A Loving Place. That website is also linked to my Facebook and Twitter for easy and convenient ways to stay connected. 

It will take some time to transition, so you will be able to still read old posts here. There just won't be anything new.

I hope to see you over there. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

A Better Me

To the Shame Within Me: Letters From A Better Me

To the Shame Within Me:

When I was little, I thought that when I made mistakes, I was bad. Eventually I started believing I was a horrible person for my thoughts, feelings, and reactions to circumstances that were way to advanced for me to understand. I thought I was responsible for the toxic relationships around me. I hated myself for being who I was, what I did, and what I let happen to me. That is where you started taking over my life. When at the core, I feel like a bad person, I have no other choice than to sabotage all that is good. When I believe in you, I feed the message that I don’t deserve to be loved, appreciated, accepted, and happy. I then will turn my shame on others to try to make them feel unloved, unappreciated, unacceptable, and unhappy. I don’t do this intentionally. I only can give what I have inside. When I embrace you, I’m embracing a life of misery.

I’ve discovered I don’t have to hate myself for not being perfect. The best thing I could ever do is embrace my imperfections, learn, and teach others that we all have feelings and thoughts that make us uncomfortable. I will no longer be responsible for keeping my struggles a secret so I remain trapped and doing things for the wrong reasons. My attachment to you is only hurting me and the people around me.

When I’m attached to you, my life suffers. I have no idea what’s real. I lash out for reasons I don’t understand and I hurt the innocent people who are around me. When I don’t look at myself and ask to be released from the negative thoughts and energy I’m putting out into the world, I am responsible for the suffering I create.

            

So shame, I release you from your services. I no lingered need to be ashamed of who I am. I’m human and making mistakes is how I grow. I release myself from the past that has kept me in this place of hurt. I ask forgiveness to all the people I have unintentionally hurt along the way because of how my own personal feelings of self-hate created a darkness in how I functioned in the world.

            

Today, I will commit to not keeping your secrets. I will be honest by the way I feel and know that it is ok to have dark thoughts. I will ask that when they come up, they be filled with a loving, compassionate energy to transform my thoughts into actions that will help myself and others.

            

Thank you for helping me see the truth. I realize I needed you to do what you did in order for me to grow. I know I needed to see that I am responsible for loving, appreciating, and accepting myself. I can’t depend on others to do it for me. I needed to see that I was only getting reflected back, what I was projecting out. Thank you for the lesson, now it is time for me to move on with love and compassion.

With Love and light,

A Better Me

Lessons in Blaming

To All the people I have blamed (including myself):

            I’m sorry to all the people I have blamed. I now realize the negative energy I was putting into the situation. I didn’t know by blaming I was contributing to the problem and ignoring the opportunity to see solutions. I wanted to divert the attention away from asking myself, “What can I do to change this situation?” Life is offers enough challenges and I realize that my being critical of those around me shows me how critical I’m being with myself.

            I have been using blame as a tool to ignore my self-care for too long. I now understand the saying “Wherever we point our finger, we have three fingers pointing back.” I get it now! I didn’t realize before that I was using blame as a defense mechanism from looking at myself in a loving way. When I’m blaming myself or others, I’m contributing to an energy I no longer want in my life. My job is to be kind to myself, only then will I be able to stop blaming. I need to show myself compassion while taking personal responsibility for my part in any chaos in my life. I invite in chaos when I start pointing fingers at anyone including myself. This way of living has not ever worked for me, but I watch myself continue to make the same choices. I didn’t realize that my own thinking has been keeping me hostage to a life I don’t even want.

            If I blame you for not doing something for me, really it means I’m not doing enough to take care of my own needs. I blame a stranger for their mistakes, it’s because I’m not seeing the value of learning from my own. When I choose to blame a culture, society, race, gender, or someone’s sexual preference. I’m using the blame as a diversion of responsibility. I use it as an excuse not to look at my own choices and actions to see how I have contributed to any negative energy going on around me.

            Today, I will commit to taking personal responsibility for my part with out pointing fingers elsewhere. I will commit to making a positive change in my life and to be compassionate and forgiving when I fall back into old behaviors. I know I need to be gentle with myself if I ever expect to be able to be gentle with you when I don’t agree with your actions. I will use my experiences as lessons to become the loving person I already know I am underneath all these walls and layers of defense mechanisms.

            I will not beat myself up when I make mistakes! I’m not superhuman and I need to use my mistakes to learn and grow. I’m grateful for all the opportunities I get to practice my new way of living. I may not get it right all the time, but if I stay committed I will be better and better and I will be a better person for you and me.

With lots of love and hope,

A Better Me © 2017